Gym Day 3

Sorry I didn't write last night. The gym is so much better than I imagined. It's great.I'd quit school now to work there but I know I wont. I started at 830am and did some Aqua, flex n' core and I took my own personal training session. It was such a great day. I even wrote done that cleaning was one of my favourite things to do there. I really don't mind wiping sweat off machines. I'm really fine with it, which is strange because I never clean. I hanged out with this trainer,Tyson, he's so much fun and he can make wicked voices with his voice. I couldn't stop laughing. We had a good time together but he made the day go too quick. Some of the other trainers thought we known each other out of the gym but we don't and that we act like brother and sister. Because we're always arguing but it's in a fun way. Can't wait to go to work today. Louise (SCott's cousin) is taking me.
I'm missing Scott he love the first two presents so far, a bag of lollies and DVD.

Annalisa the Happy

Happy Day

School was freaking great! Well classes were shit. But me and Scott were happy as happy. I didn't say anything about the Deb or this weekend. We just had a good time together. It was perfect. We palyed this coin game. Scott cheated, I tried to but he always caught me out. :(

Scott even asked me to his place Friday I can't wait. Just me and him (well and his family) together. 

Today was a really great happy. I'm happy

Help on understanding me!

With being worried about the future has changed me when I'm around Scott. I don't mean to do it though, its just I worry and stress. I've always been a person who stresses out easily.
Lately I've I been acting not as fun loving a less happy around him. Scott isn't making me unhappy, I'm making myself unhappy when I'm around him, because I'm scared of missing out on doing things that a normal couple would do which we can't when he leaves school at the end of the year.
(Normal couple is being at the same stage of life I think).
I know it is stupid to worry about what other people do, so I'm going to try and do that heaps less. And I also think not being at the same stages of our lives together makes it more of adventure. By saying that the only thing we aren't at the same stage is that he finishes school earlier than me, the rest we are at the same with. Eg. What we want in the future for us is the same.
I know we wont be able to do some of the things that other couples will be able to do but we'll do everything that we can.
Scott and I have both said that we will both stay together at the end of the year but I still worry, like it's in my nature to worry. I think I just have to trust that everything will work out. Me and Scott bounce off each other if I'm unhappy he'll be too. I don't want us be be stressed out and unhappy.
Hear me say it now I will relax to the hardest and just be happy "just be."
Scott makes me the happiest person alive and everyone knows that including me. I just have to learn how to relax and not stress. You have a live to live it right? So I'm going to live it.
When I see Scott next I'm going to be more fun loving for me and him. I'm sick of being unhappy with myself it's hurting me alot. I'm hurting myself because I'm scared of hurting myself in the future which is stupid I need trust myself more and trust my thoughts. Deep down I know everything will be ok with me and Scott at the end of the year. I don't want to be negative I want to show I'm happy. Because I am happy inside but lately I haven'y being showing it that well on the outside. I need to know how. But it's weird because I'm a crazy smily person but my happy body language hasn't been that good lately.
I want to stay young with Scott forver but we're both getting older and growing together which I love. I want to keep on doing so throughout the years to come with Scott. I'm a sort of person who loves adventure but also wants to feel safe and have sercurity at the same time. Some people might find that boring or not exciting. But my safety zone is with Scott and I love having adventures with him.
Please please can people comment on this I need to know what you think.
I love Scott D'Arcy

Talk soon