Help on understanding me!

With being worried about the future has changed me when I'm around Scott. I don't mean to do it though, its just I worry and stress. I've always been a person who stresses out easily.
Lately I've I been acting not as fun loving a less happy around him. Scott isn't making me unhappy, I'm making myself unhappy when I'm around him, because I'm scared of missing out on doing things that a normal couple would do which we can't when he leaves school at the end of the year.
(Normal couple is being at the same stage of life I think).
I know it is stupid to worry about what other people do, so I'm going to try and do that heaps less. And I also think not being at the same stages of our lives together makes it more of adventure. By saying that the only thing we aren't at the same stage is that he finishes school earlier than me, the rest we are at the same with. Eg. What we want in the future for us is the same.
I know we wont be able to do some of the things that other couples will be able to do but we'll do everything that we can.
Scott and I have both said that we will both stay together at the end of the year but I still worry, like it's in my nature to worry. I think I just have to trust that everything will work out. Me and Scott bounce off each other if I'm unhappy he'll be too. I don't want us be be stressed out and unhappy.
Hear me say it now I will relax to the hardest and just be happy "just be."
Scott makes me the happiest person alive and everyone knows that including me. I just have to learn how to relax and not stress. You have a live to live it right? So I'm going to live it.
When I see Scott next I'm going to be more fun loving for me and him. I'm sick of being unhappy with myself it's hurting me alot. I'm hurting myself because I'm scared of hurting myself in the future which is stupid I need trust myself more and trust my thoughts. Deep down I know everything will be ok with me and Scott at the end of the year. I don't want to be negative I want to show I'm happy. Because I am happy inside but lately I haven'y being showing it that well on the outside. I need to know how. But it's weird because I'm a crazy smily person but my happy body language hasn't been that good lately.
I want to stay young with Scott forver but we're both getting older and growing together which I love. I want to keep on doing so throughout the years to come with Scott. I'm a sort of person who loves adventure but also wants to feel safe and have sercurity at the same time. Some people might find that boring or not exciting. But my safety zone is with Scott and I love having adventures with him.
Please please can people comment on this I need to know what you think.
I love Scott D'Arcy

Talk soon

Trusting the unknown

Trust. Five letter word. Isn't strange how just a little word can mean so much.
Like today i told Doug about a well kept secret that only i know and i guess everyone ho reads this blog too. Either i take Doug to be a very close and trustworthly friend or he can get secrets out of me very easily. I believe its both. But mostly our friendship. He knows more about me than most people would think.

When me and Scott first starting dating it took alot for us to trust each other. We'd both been through alot in our lives and trusting someone with your heart is a big step. he was the first to said i love you but i was the first to trust him. I've made some mistakes before but i do not reget them. I believe to you reget what you do, you don't learn from it. we trust each other compeetly now. Yet we both still get a bit nervous with each of our friends. But i think that is understandable. A close friend of Scott's not really mine would be Cat it's not that i don't trust her its just thati don't like the way she acts around me. Yesterday she was smiling in a bad way at me because i had to leave Scott for a bit and she was with him. And today when Scott was in class with Cat she keep grabbing his arm to get his attention. He showed me where Cat grabbed him and he has marks from her. I don't know what that means but i don't like it. I love him to pieces but i don't like his friend. I trust him though. I trust him with my heart and life.