What do i do now?

my 200th post. Nothing to say but :( and its not getting any better

:(

And we broke up

This...

Ok i have a bit of a confession I've lost my diary that I took to Fiji :(

I think I left it at my uncles. Also left my shoes at work experience, have to get them.

I'm so sorry guys I haven't blogged for too long. Let me just say Fiji was amazing, beautiful and I didn't want to leave. I cried way to much at the airport.

My weekend had its good and bad parts. I'll start at Friday.....

Finished work Friday was awful I gave May my hug and I walked out I didn't want to leave it all just yet but I hope to be back in a couple of years time. I learnt so much from Jason and May the two photographers at the local paper. I'm so glad I went there, almost didn't. There was so much new imformation that I didn't know where to put it so I put it in a book.

Tip from May: "In low light photography use a faster f. stop like 2.8 or lower if possible.
Tip from Jason: "In sport photography predict what will happen"

I want to go take photos now well I'm going to in about 15minutes.

Friday night I got a male friend over to watch movies but he took it to far i said stop but he wouldn't and yer I don't know what to do I need counselling or something I'm so shaky and nervous. Being around Scott today was good I felt safe in his bubble went when I was out of it I'm different feel good on the inside. I haven't told him what he guy did to me because he'll kill him and he knows the guy and already hates him. I can't take it to the cops. But I told the guy I will if it happens again. Shit weekend. This thing shouldn't happen to me. I told one friend but it isn't enough help.

Saturday our exchange student came back for a very long visit staying for a year. Ek!

Annalisa the hurt

Day 7

Wednesday 1st 2009

In the shower I tried to get as much oil out of my hair as I could with soap but it didn't work that well. We signed out of the htoel (thank god) and went to macca's for breaky. I got hotcakes but I didn't eat them all as usual.
Then we went to the port to board the cruise boat, I was a bit worried but once we safely left the dock I was happy. We sat near two young guys, Dom and Anthony and they are on their uni holidays. The baot trip took about one and a half hours. I had Kava on the way there then we took a glass bottom boat to the island, the glass had cracks in it which worried me. When we got to the island our guide saidwe got go and get changed and go snokerling in the ocean or snokerling in the bar! I choose the ocean, I went over to Dom and Anthony, I can't remember which one but one of them said I should be a model not a photographer. I smiled. THen we got our gear and took the glass bottom boat out to the reef. I sat next to Anthony. When I hoped into the water he made sure I was ok. The coral wasn't as bright as I thought it would be but still beautiful. I saw bright blue starfish and nemo. :) When we got back to shore we had a massive lunch. I sat with Anthony and took photos. Also beforelunch I got some great photos of people playing volley ball. I also meet a guy from Poland. After lunch we went snokerling again but it was really rough. Then it was time to had back to the cruise ship, I couldn't believe the day went so quickly. I went on the first trip back to the boat with Dom. It was rough heading back and raining and I didn't have any dry clothes so Anthony was nice enough to share his towel with me. The two guys were so nice we talked the whole we back. We have to take mum's sister's family out for t and the guys said to do to the sheridan because they got a two for one deal on. Also that's where they are staying. We said our goodbyes and hoped to see each other at the sheridan. At Shamilas I checked my photos none of them where there, I cried. But hopefully I can get them back we I go home. I took my camera to the sheridan. I saw the boys, I told them what happen to my camera, they said they'd try and fix it while I had t. T was good except I had sushi which made me feel sick. When I went to see the boys they were able to find 254 photos I was so happy. I got anothony's number and we said we'd all catch up for lunch tomorrow.
After t we went back to shamila's and stayed the night.

Days 4 to 6

Sunday 28th June

Today I slept in then jumped in the shower. Sandy, Nana's dog is about to give birth to puppies any day now. I hope I get to watch I've never seen a dog give birth before.

Almost straight away I jumped into the Fiji waters. Argh the joy! But I think something was biting me. We stayed in the sea for a while then went crab hunting. I think my cousins were shocked that I was game enough to try to grab them. We even saw a poisonous crab, pretty colours. Then we went for a stroll on the beach, nani (my grandma) came too. She told me to put my thongs on so my feet wouldn't get cut on the shells and glass. It was so good for her to care for me like my nanna at home does for me these are the little things that I miss most. I would like to have my wedding in Fiji because my family here can see me start a new chapter in my life since they didn't get to see enough of my child life.
Today after the beach I sat with Nana, guess what I get my small feet off him and finally I am taller than him. Argh I miss him alot I think I'm more a like him than anyone else, cliche I know.
We had Fiji sweets at the beach too, they were so sweet and yummy. I need to have a shower soon, I smell like the ocean. We're having fish for t. Sibo had wet hands and I drew a love heart on her hand and she put her hand on my cheek, it left a print. Share the love I say :)
Hey today I had my first cut today. In the water Hamish tackled me in shallow water and I hit a rock, my knee got cut up. But I'll survive.
I got he best photo taken today eith a Asian tourist and some natives, everyone looks so happy :) It's great. They asked me to take a photo for them then they wanted me in the picture so I got one taken with my camera too. In Fiji they sorta have gosepal churches like they have in America but it's in a differen't language. you still get the feel for it though and the rytheme. I would love to go to one but I'm scared they wouldn't accept me.
We had fish for t then I went to bed after the shower. I read te Sundowner's book and finished it. It was a great ending but I didn't want it to end.

Monday 29th June

Today I had egg and roti for breakyand tried to have lots of water. I wasn't feeling well today. The heat got to me early and I felt dizzy.
Me, mum, dad and Hamish went into town, dad had to change some clothes because they weren't good quality. In exchange I got a Pandora bead of a turtle. After we went to Denarau Island and went for lunch and a swim at one of their resorts. It was nice but it started to rain in the end.
I sat in the pool bar and read a new book 'Chanel by Edmonde Charles-Roux' It's good so far. We also meet a couple from New Zealand. Tomorrow we're going back to that resort because mum and dad have to listen to this talk to get a free day cruise and while they are doing that I booked me and Hamish to get a relaxation massage. Can't wait so excited for it.
We went to my uncle's for t it was good but I wasn't feeling that good so I walked home and tried to have a good sleep but it didn't work. Bad sleep.

Tuesday 30th June

Today me, Brandon, Sibo and Sabina went to Worldmark at Wyndham while mum and dad went to a presentation that tried to sell them timeshares. Of course they didn't by it but they got two free adult mystery cruise for tomorrow and they got two more tickets for me and Hamish.
Me and Brandon got a massage for half an hour I didn't want it to stop, I could fully relax. Then I went to the bar and talked with the chick who worked there she told me to go on facebook to add her and I said I'd make an account tonight. For the rest of the day we chilled out at the resort, then dropped Sibo and Sabina off at my uncles restuarant. Then we went to the hotel we were ment to stay at a better one but we couldn't get in. :( Lets just say I didn'tlike the place.
Me and mum got a full body massage, but I didn't like it because she put oil in my hair and massaged my head and hair. I don't like people touching my hair except with Scott does. :) Sleep Time

First Three Days in Fiji

Well I'm finally home. It was an amazing trip. Well I guess I bet to get into it....

By the way I'm not changing the tense, I'm leaving it the way I wrote it.

Thursday 25th June
We'll be in Nadi, Fiji soon. I've got the window seat so I can take pictures of the clouds. That's my favourite bit about the fl:ight is the fact that I'm above the clouds the sky is really the limit. Mummy dear just order my a hot chocolate :)
We're about a hour or so into our flight. The hot chocolate is to die for, it's so yummy! and sweet. LAst time I came to Fiji, I watched the flight attendants and I wanted to be them. How things change, even though maybe I still do want to be them with their pretty faces, good bodies and the best work uniforms. And of course getting to travel around the wrold for a living. I'm now going ot read my book "Sundowners by Lesley Lokko."

Well I'm back to my second home. Yet it feels weird Hamish is fitting in so well but I don't feel as comfortable. I ended up watching a movie on the plane "Fired Up" It was ok but the story line was too obvisious; boy meets girl and likes her, hurt her feelings, she pushes him away and then they end up together.
I showed pictures of my Scott to my cousins, I didn't know how they would react but they said he was cute! Dad's been bragging about Scott too :)
OMG I recieved a text from Scott I was so happy it worked but sadly I can't reply on anyones phone I don't know whats wrong with it. I want to text him so badly and say I can hear you  and I love you.

I can't believe how gorwn up my cousins are and I can see that I've grown up too. I can't think straight I'm going to sleep now before I get over tired.


Friday 26th June

My sleep was awful I couldn't stop sneezing and I coudn't breathe right. :(
I've only had a shower and breaky and I'm already stuffed. I don't feel well. All my aunties are over to tea and a chat. Today the weather is bearable but still very hot. The shower was good, refeshing but I forgot how hard it is to use. You have a big bucket of hot water then you use a small bowl to pour it over yourself. I still don't think I got all the shampoo out :(
I feel sick! I don't know how to get better, think I'll go into town and get some bottled water.

Me, Dad and Hamish went to Nadi. When we went into a pohne shop a boy followed us. I didn't think anything of it until he started to beg for money to feed his family he said, he only looked 11years old. He didn't stop begin until he got his way. I hated hearing his pain and sadness in his whine. But the is reality! Reality is what it shouldn't be though hey? Why does a man in a $200,000 car drive past a woman with her ifant sit on the path begging for hope?
It doesn't seem right to me and the world ignores it, that man will go on with his day and life. And that baby will be dead before it's 5th birthday.
So that's reality? That's awful.

When we drove from home to Nadi we saw a native walking and we picked him up. And took him to the shop that would have taken him a hour to walk to. It was truly rewarding. He said " Thank you, thank you, god bless you." Beautiful.

Aim: To eat with hands for this trip.

Just had t it was so good. Argh need to loss weight shouldn't have eaten so much.
My breathing was so bad today, I know my breathing is loud and I hate it but I can't help it. Hopefully it'll be better tomorrow.
Argh so over family pinching my cheeks and arms but that's like a normal thing they do, but argh painful. And yes I've told my cousins so stop but they don't.
Omg when we were driving in town we saw my oldest cousin Shelvin. It was so good to see him, we got a park and I ran to hug him but of course I ran too fast and ended up stepping on his toes. Sorry. He's so tall and older.

Dad just taught my cousin to play 52 pickup, how mean.

Saturday 27th June

Today I woke up at 8:30, it was good because it wasn't that hot then. I just gt straight in the shower.
Then me, Hamish, mum, dad, Sibo (youngest cousin) and her mum Sabina went in the same car, and nobody wears seatbelts in the back.
I got Scott some guy's purfume. but I'll give it to him for xmas os something.
I saw Shelvin and Douglas down the street.
When we got back to the house I took some photos of some natives and flowers. I also took some of some kids and then showed them the picturesthey loved it, oh  thank you for digital. 
We went ot Nishwant's for t it was fun. I mainly took photos of the kids as they played. Nishwant even caught a gecko for me so I could take a picture and my nana (grandpa) caught a cane toad, he picked it up by the foot. We played this board game, can't remember the name though. I'll find out.
Onteeka (Cousin) wanted to play with me all night it killed me too much running around. But it was good to spend time with family.
Also had a nap today, I feel so lazy yet tired here.

I'll right more later or tomorrow I'm sick.

Fiji Fun

Wow the just keeps getting better I love it. But there has been one really bad part that I'm havig night  mares over. But I think I'll tell you it when I get home.

Yesterday I hanged out with cousins and went to the beach. I scored a try in beach rugby, I rock! But a crab or fish bit me on the toe.

Missing Scott, so muchly. Argh wona hold him.

Fiji has just been truly great.

Hamish and Hair

My little brother hamish who is 12 has decided to get dredlocks while he's in fiji. He's booked in to get them in a weeks time, I can't wait to see what they look like, I just hope they look good. By the way my brother hair is ringlet curly and shoulder length. He's growing into a little man :)

Fiji the Begining

Omg I'm in fiji. The weather is beautilful. I'm loving it.! The flight over was great, I love clouds. I was sick the first couple of days :( thought I had swine flu :( But I don't I all good now. I went to the best with family yesterday it was so warm and fun. Argh I don't want to leave my family again.

I broke down yesterday and cried, I saw a happy couple and it made me think of Scott. Fiji is not a good place to be when your missing your other half.

I've been able to text him which has been good but I don't often. I called him saturday night and he spoke to my cousi, they were both so nervous it was cute. Scott just said hey at the start not game enough to say his name incase he got it wrong. :) what a cutie.

I've been keeping a diary of what I do each day, that I'll re type into my blog when I get home. We get to melbourne late so we're staying at a hotel which I'll use the internet there.
I'm missing all friends and family and Scott.

I'll talk soon Annalisa the very hot

Holidays

Hello and Goodbye for now.

My flight is tomorrow morning.

I've said goodbye to Scott, I cried and he held me. Argh I miss him already.

Love all you guys lots.
I'll be back before you know it.

Annalisa on Holidays

Weekendness

Well I had the most amazing weekend. Spent Friday and Saturday with family friends and Sunday I stayed at Scott's. It was so good. We watched telly and went on the motor bikes. But I got scared before we went for our big ride so I  just went around the house and paddock.
I'm going to miss Scott so much when I go to Fiji. We've spent a long period of time apart before but not over different countries.
He was at school Monday which was good we had a good time together and ate too much chocolate sort of food. :) He makes me smile so muchly. :-) Argh I'm going to miss my sexy, funny, hot, amazing, smart boyfriend. 

Annalisa the holiday worthy?

My Great Boyfriend!

I had a great day with Scott today. He is working today but he texted me in his breaks and they were also the sweetest messages (I'm going to miss him so much these holidays). It's so good putting more effort in for each other. I can't believe how proud I am of us.

Deep down I knew Scott and I were not going to split up Tuesday night but it was an option and that scared the hell out of me. I can't imagine my life without him and I don't want to. You know one day me and Scott may break up and that's just a fact of life, some things just don't work out. But me and Scott are working. And it is I've never been so happy. We are in a really good time now. :9 It's pure bliss.

I think I can be happier and not so stressed out with Scott now because even though it will kill me, I know if we ever break up in the future I will survive. I'm more happier now because I can just be with Scott and not worry because I know everything will be alright. He loves me and reminds me that he does everyday. He's truely the perfect man. I love him x x x x x

After the gym Kellie took my to dancing even though I didn't dance, I just cried in front of the heater and the dance studio. In the drive there "Breakeven by The Script" was on. I couldn't stop crying when I heard it, she turned the radio off for me. I really do like that song because its so truthful, but I'm glad it's not true for me and Scott though.

Annalisa the Happier :)

Wagging school the new thing?

Well I didn't go to school. I don't know why I didn't. I walked half way to school, then walked back home again. I sorta just wasn't up for it. I guess I sorta wasn't well.

I haven't done much today just watched tv and read a book.

The sorta newish well not that new now but "Miss Potter" I watched that on tv today. It was G rated so I thought it would be a good kids movie to watch it. But wow was I wrong, it was a great movie but it was so sad I cried and I didn't want to cry today.

Annalisa the Wagger

Those 3 Days

Monday night.

Mum and I want to go to Pink. I know it should be just a night for me and mum but i asked if Scott can come anyway. Of course she says yes. But she said I have to call him, I was dreading calling Scott because tonight is the night I talk about A. Scott said he was too tired to talk but I call up anyway.
He said he doesn't want to go to Pink and that I'll have more fun without him which isn't true. But I except his answer sadly.
He's not in a good mood. I wanted to leave the A thing for a night but I knew if I don't I would never tell him.

Talking about A has always been a touchy subject for us. But he has his reasons.
I say to Scott that I confronted A about what happened.
Guess what he said "Who cares" I was so upset.
He knew how hard this was for me then he goes and makes it a joke or something.
I say "Fine" and change the subject.
But then of course he says really does care and wants to know what happened. I tell him a much as I could but I could tell he wasn't listening. I done the right thing by telling him all he had to do was listen. I left it as is and went to bed as did he.

Tuesday.

Scott wasn't at school he was working. But I always still texting him anyway even though he couldn't reply. My friend Doug texts him about motorbikes and he replies not straight away but he does reply and I didn't even get a text. That hurt me.

I was on the bus to go to the gym. And I text Scott how come Doug got a text and not me.? He was still working. Half way through my gym workout and I check my phone. Hmm the message I got from him was crazy. I cried in front and the people at the gym.
Scott said " Its getting hard to find time for each other you reckon we should start thinking about going our own ways. I don't but its gunna get hard soon."
I wanted to scream but I couldn't a friend of mine at the gym came over and talked to me about it but it wasn't much help.

Me and Scott talked that whole night about us. We both said we still loved each other and that we want to stay together but with him working its hard to see each other and its putting a strain on our relationship. We talked about breaking up yet we both didn't want that, but we both know that we can't work as well when he is working. We agreed to sort of refresh and re connect, make time for each other and if we can't we'll slowly break up.
Believe its so hard typing this words. But I need you guys to hear them and so I can know what you think. Me and Scott are still going to be the same around each other but try to be more loving and caring for one another. We're going to make time for each other more.
It was the hardest thing in my life reading that text but I knew one of us was going to send it soon enough. But it was good in a way because we got to say what was important in our lives and what we wanted in it and how we would achieve it (luckly both of us want the same thing... to stay together and be in a great relationship:). We didn't act childish and say stupids things and break up, instead we talked about how we can work out our problems. I was so happy in the way we acted towards each other. I'm still madly in love with Scott.

Get this clear: Scott and I are still together and will remain that way for many years until we are no longer able to make a satisfying relationship with each other. We both don't want to be together if we never see each other, in our words that is not a relationship with us.

Wednesday.

I was scared about going to school today because I was scared things would be different between me and Scott. Once I saw him, he left his friends and we went and sat down and talked. We both said nothing has changed between us and that we still love each other. Scott said our love has grown, in these past day or two we have bettered our relationship. :) Through today I can see that we were both more loving towards each other. Scott made more hmm how do I say it... loving touches. He also said I love you more. I'm so proud of us for being so young and still able to have a loving relationship and be able to work out our problems in a good manner.

I spoke to my friends in class and they said I and Scott had handled it maturely.

Annalisa the Better!

The guy who talked to me at the gym on Tuesday was Kim's sister's boyfriend. I got a message from Kim that night, it was good to talk to her. She is so good to me.

Hey

Wow what do I say to you guys. I can't believe how much my life and the way I feel has changed in the past three days. So much of what I tell you will come as a shock but it is also I shock to me too!

Fiji Soon

In 9 days I'll be on the plane to Fiji, I can't wait. It's a four hour flight there and a five hour flight back. I think the flight there is at 9am but I'm not sure. It'll be so good to see my family over there after 3 years. I think I'll be there for 15 to 17 days. I'll be sun baking while Scott is going to be working in the rain. I'm going to be so sad without him. I miss him already and I haven't even left yet.

I think I'll get a Fiji sim card so I can still text him which will be good but I think it's expensive to text over seas but I'm not sure.

I'm hoping to take some great photos these holiday which should be good. :) Can't wait to post them up here. I'l try my hardest to get to a internet cafe of something. I think I'll get my hair braided and platted.

I last post before I go on holidays will be on the 24 of June. I'll miss you guys too!

Annalisa the Fijian

Sleep-Over

Saturday night my friends Jess and Jazz stayed over. It was good fun to chat up with my friends but I not all my friends came though I'll get all my friends around for my birthday.

It as good fun. It actually was the reason I confronted A.

Well dressed ups. Talked to ages and watched movies. Then dressed up again in the morning. My friends are so pretty. Makes good photos.

So good.

Anna

Dealing with It

Well as I said yesterday I do have something to say.

When I was younger (13) something happened between me and a family friend. He was older than me and he touched me in ways that I shouldn't have been. Till this day I still blame myself because I didn't try to stop him but I sorta didn't know what was happening. It all sort of over boiled at that time and some bad messages were sent. In time he got over it and sort of never thought about it again but I never recovered I felt like I was abused, sexually. Me and him still talk and I guess are friends but I never felt the same. After work yesterday he was home for the weekend so I thought I go see him. Well his mum asked the night before.

When I got there his mum wasn't home, it was just me, him and his younger brother but he went to his room as soon as I got there. I'll call him A. Me and A watched a movie. I thought this would be the best time to tell him and confront about how that time a while ago made me feel. I moved to sit on the arm rest of his couch. I said "I don't hate me but I need to say this to you." But as soon as I did this my world went black I ended up saying sorry and bursting into tears, this wasn't how it was meant to go. He grabbed me a held me to him. My head was in his neck and shoulder bit, crying into him. I was trying to talk and tell him what I was meant to but I couldn't my sound wasn't coming out just blurs of words. I wanted to scream. I couldn't breath. He started rubbing my back and body to calm me but I didn't want him to touch me. I was so shut down though that I couldn't move.

He rubbed me and sort of hummed to me. Once I'd stop crying I got some tissue's and began to speak. I talked about how that night made my feel and how he ruined our friendship. Even though we're friends now it could have been better. I said sorry about some of the messages too. But he wouldn't say sorry, well he hadn't yet but that's all I wanted to have some closure. Before I could any more his mum got home I had a milo and left.

At home I texted A I hadn't finished talking to him but there was family there so I didn't want to cry, so I started texting him with a joke but it ended badly. I said ".......Haha if I get a back rub every time I cry I'll have to cry more" but A replied saying "Well all you have to do is get rid of Scott and you can have as many as you want, whenever you want like now" I didn't want to hear that. I said that's not going to happen.

I got serious.

I said how that I felt scared after he done that to me and it made it hard when I started going out with Scott. I said that I was only a kid and that I didn't know what was going on and that I think I couldn't say stop because maybe I confused it to being love instead it was actually A obstructing of our friendship.

Then I went on to ask "What were you thinking when you did that to me and Why would you do that to me? I need to know." But all he said was that "It was just the heat of the moment" I don't know what I was excepting him to say but that wasn't it. I wanted to here more. But I guess wasn't going to hear it.

I said I had to go and I left it at that. I will talk about it more another day maybe. I still don't think I said enough. I didn't say I felt abused I was too scared to. I wish I had now.

Today I texted him about him and the was he held me and I told him the it wasn't apperate and that I will never left anything sexual happen between us and I love Scott. A replied "Never say never. But don't worry I'll never do anything to ruined our friendship unless I was sure I liked you." Me and A are friends I don't want our friendship to get ruined again because he wants me.

Scott knows what I went through with A and I'm going to tell him what happened Sunday because he needs to know that I've dealt with it. Scott doesn't like A and I don't think he ever will.

I'll never forget or forgive with A done but I can deal with it better now.

Annalisa the Better?

Hey

I've got a lot to blog about believe me but it can wait till tomorrow I got to get my head sorted out. It's nothing bad well it's sort of brave.

Missing Scott

Anna

My Tiring Day and Last Night

School was pretty fun. Had to exams but they were ok I think. English was fun with the boys. Doug wrote hmm something interesting in my english folder. :)
Scott pretty much just tickled me in the belly all day. I told him to stop but I sercertly didn't want him to. :) Evil. I was pretty tried today though had a big night last night. Had gym for a hour and half and hip hop. Gym was good I saw some friends and met some new people which was good. But I think the footy player were a bit too nice. I think I slowly getting better at my running which is not my strongest point. I'm loving the gym how it's getting me fitter but its sort of a bit boring sometimes.
I was meant to be going to Scott's this weekend but of course planes change. I've got the day off tomorrow too, which should be good but now I've got nothing to do since I'm not going to Scott's. (Mum just said she wants me to clean my room even though its pretty clean, I'm a girl who like her room clean) His mummy (Jenny) didn't want my there since he'd be at work tomorrow and so would she and I'd be home alone. Which is fair enough but it doesn't make me miss him any less. Argh wish I was still going there tonight!
I got a bit confused in maths today, my brain wasn't concentrating. Argh so tired. Think I'll have a early night.
And I've also got to paint my nails by the way.

Annalisa

My Day

Well I had a very very good morning. Scott woke up horny and I sent him some hmm images :) I know I'm bad. It was fun though. Argh I miss him. But i'll get to see him tomorrow. It's good to wake up to sexy messages. :)

School was good. Had maths exam I think I did pretty good. English exam was weird the essay question didn't make me think so I could really think of anything good to write. Not happy.

Dancing was hard work. Worked on this dance for overa hour thinking how to make it better and add more onto it. And I'm stuffed. But it was fun though.
I'm so loud and crazy at dancing :)

Talked to Scott on the phone for a bit it was good. 

Anna the sleepy

Home Sweet Home

I'm home, home sweet home. And unpacked too!

Exams tomorrow not lookingforward to it. I haven't really practised that well and I'm scared I've forgotten about it all this weekend. Wish me luck.

Friends ans Time

I want to spend more time with friends. If I'm not spending my weekends with Scott, I'm usually away or working but it's got to stop. I miss my friends. I want to have a girly sleepover and dress ups. Nothing is a good as that. :) And eat chocolate and pop corn while watching some comdey/romantic. I can't this weekend because I'm going shopping with my mummy for Fiji, I think. But hopefully the weekend after I will. I'll tell my friends and get me to remind me about it. I love the time in class that I get with my friends because they are so great but of course I want more time with them, so the weekends will be it! The only thing is that some of my friends like to drink and my parents don't want kids drinking and my place. Ek! So I'm going to have to tell them that. Hopefully they wont mind that much. I can't wait to have a weekend like that, the only thing is will Scott come?

Annalisa

My Day So Far

Last night was goood my couisin's family friends came over. And they watched the rugby, I'm not much of a rugby fun myself so I watched a movie.

Today we went to town Eu and done some shopping it was great. I got some clothes for Fiji, four books, ( yes i know I got too many but I couldn't choose), lip stuff, and some other little things. We also went to the lolly shop, argh I fell in love. So much to eat, such a little tummy.

I missing Scott, he's working today. I hate not being able to text him. I was want to hold him and read what he has to say. Can't wait till I can see him again. Have to wait till Wednesday.

Anna

Cousinly Love

This weekend has been good so far. It's good seeing my little cousins. Argh they're so cute! Well I got to go I've got to see my little cousins dance routine. :)

Anna

Missing Scott

Stuff and This...

I was bullied at school Thursday and Scott wasn't at school to protect me, he's been working with a builder all week. It's hard him not being at school but its even harder him not being there when I need his support most. Even after school he couldn't be there for me. He was so tired he went to sleep early and I only ended up getting two messages. But I have to admit they were really sweet.
It was Justin's birthday Thursday too. I texted him but he was fighting with his mummy, he wasn't having a good day. Lately him and his girlfriend have been having troubles finally he texted me about it and just said it wasn't working and they had broke up. I hope he finds his perfect girl. When I was younger I thought I was his perfect girl, I was 12 :) I know now and for the past few years that we are just mates. Justin helped me with the bully, well we just talked about it. It helped having someone to talk to but it didn't take away the hurtful things that the bully said. It's hard not having Scott at school with me but it's a reality that I'm going to have to live with soon.
I've got exams all next week, just like the rest of Victoria. I'm a bit worried it's my first VCE exam EK! I wish me luck! I'm going to practise this weekend and me aunty and uncles. I'm there now.

Annalisa

Invading People

On Monday I did my first got from Town H local paper. I had to take a picture of a lady with CF. I had to go to her house and take it. I found out I don't really like photojournlism because I don't really like in vading there private place. I walk into someones home, walk around there house and look and a good photo place, the force them to be happy for a photo. I feel bad, I don't like annoying people like that. I'll continue to take photos in my town S, but if it gets to bad I'll stop it. I think I'd rather go into wedding photography or something. But I did enjoy talking to the lady. It was lucky I already knew her before I went to her place. We're sorta family friends but not that close.

Anna the Faint Hearted

Loving Hugging Weekend

I went to the gym saturday morning then took the bus form town P to Scott's. I was scared driving past where the bus rolled and killed three people two months ago. I arrived safely.
Scott's mum,  Jenny picked me up. We talked about how Scott would help her with the gardening when he was a toddler. How Cute!
I had the best weekend with him, he was so so so cuddly
Saturday I slept the whole night in his bed, it was warm. I slept naked, argh imagine if we got caught!
I helped him sand a wood fire box he was making for his boss. It was actualy fun helping him do stuff. I got pretty dirty.
I meet Scott's boss for the first time, Ross, it was so cool that he was like 'Hey Anna"  He already knew my name and remebered it.
I was still really tired so I slept alot, while I was sleeping in the arvo, Scott made me a chocolate cake. Can anyone say AWWWWWWWWW :)
I ate too many pieces of course.
I couldn't have asked for a better weekend with Scott he's amazing. I want to marry him now! :)

I stayed till Monday morning and took the school bus to school.

Anna

Sorry

I'm sorry I haven't posted, I got lazy sorry.

The rest of the of work experience was absolotly great, if I wasn't with Scott I would have moved up there and started my traineeship but I guess I need to think seriously and not jump to the first offer I get.
Scott's cousin, Lou took me up to work thursday an friday it was great talking to her. Thursday morning I gave her my photography portfolio because she said she'd look at it at work. She asked me to come and see her on my lunch break if I was bored. I wasn't bored but I went anyway. When I got there she said she had a surprise. I had a interview planned for me with the head photgrapher of her paper.
I was nervous but I had no other choice I was already there and I couldn't leave. We talked for a bit and he liked my work. He said he wanted to do photgraphy with him as work experience. I said yes. Then he asked for me to work for him to take the photos in the town I live in because its far away from where he works. I said yes! 
I took me first photo on Monday.

A

Gym Day 3

Sorry I didn't write last night. The gym is so much better than I imagined. It's great.I'd quit school now to work there but I know I wont. I started at 830am and did some Aqua, flex n' core and I took my own personal training session. It was such a great day. I even wrote done that cleaning was one of my favourite things to do there. I really don't mind wiping sweat off machines. I'm really fine with it, which is strange because I never clean. I hanged out with this trainer,Tyson, he's so much fun and he can make wicked voices with his voice. I couldn't stop laughing. We had a good time together but he made the day go too quick. Some of the other trainers thought we known each other out of the gym but we don't and that we act like brother and sister. Because we're always arguing but it's in a fun way. Can't wait to go to work today. Louise (SCott's cousin) is taking me.
I'm missing Scott he love the first two presents so far, a bag of lollies and DVD.

Annalisa the Happy

Gym Day 2

Argh today was an early start 6am! and I had to get up at 5 to get ready.
When I got there I watched a spin class it looked so hard. Then I joined in on a pump class. It was such a great workout for my arms.
I helped with some personal training sessions, this one trainer works her people harder I think.
Then I had Step Attack, It was good but it hurt my knees alot. This one was a bit more dancy so that was really fun.
Then there was a living longer living stronger class, this is for older ladies and keeping them fit and healthy. I think it was good for the gym to have a class for this age group. The ladies were very talkative and lous. Also they are stuck in there ways so if they didn't want to do something they wouldn't. I tried not to laugh. :) I also think it would be quite a challenge for a trainer to come up with a circuit and stretches because you have to be careful that the ladies don't injure themselves.
I was waiting for Tracy to keep me up when the part owner walked up to me and offered me a traineeship! I so happy and thankful that they have offered me still but I'm still not sure on wait I want to do.
I finished at 1:30 then had a 4 hour sleep.

Annalisa

Not Happy

Omg so angry my friend forgot to put the bag of lollies in Scott's locker. I'm not happy. It has ruined the whole week of presents. :(
But I told her to put two presents on Wednesday instead.

Argh missing Scott. I'm sending my love to you baby!

Anna

Gym Day 1

Hello my friends, I can't believe I'm posting tonight I'm so so tired. But I thought I better with my work experience and all.

I got there at 8am. The people there are great, really friendly and helpful. I was scared that I would be annoying them, me coming to there work but they couldn't be more welcoming. I watched one personal training lesson and then joined in on the next one. And wow they work you hard, in some parts the rest wasn't that bad. I was proud of myself for doing so well. But I couldn't run up and down the stairs because of my knees.
I helped in a concletation. Which was a good learning thing.
I helped with the Aqua class, it was so much fun. It was helping excisering older people in the pool. I was out of the pool though. There was this one man there, John, and he was the sweetest man. He was very much a ladies man back in his day. :)
I helped out with some other training and paperwork stuff, which was good.
They said I looked like a people person which was good! :) That's what is on my resume. They also said to go up to people work are working out and to just talk to them. I loved doing that, and I also met some interesting people. The trainer said that not many work experience kids have the confidence to do that and he said I did a great job. :) Smiling!
I finished at 4:30 then went down the street to buy a jumper its so so cold today, it hasn't stopped raining.

Annalisa

My New Home

Well I'm at Tracy's place, I thought she lived with flat mates but to my surprise she lives with her parnter and daughter, she also has a son but he lives with his dad. Wow I dídn't know that much before I got here ey. They're are so nice and welcoming I feel very safe here. Sorta wish I was staying the whole week.

I can't remember if I start at 8 or 8:30 tomorrow ek! I think I'll just got with 8 just in case.

I'm starting to miss Scott. He's been sending me really cute messages. :) Argh I'm going to miss him this week.

Well I better go, I think I should go out to the lounge room and stay social.

Annalisa the missed?

I miss Scotty

I don't want to leave Scott for a week I'll miss him too much. At least he'll have a bit of me with him with the presents I got him. I gave to last of the presents to Jayde today. I hope he has a good week. Argh I just want to cuddle him now.

Anna

Weekend Troubles

Last night was great. I also got to catc up with my friend Maggie who moved schools ths year. In my opinion she's growing up too fast in a sexual way. Both me and Justin were very upset with this. Me and him are like the young guardians of our group of family friends and we don't like when they act badly. I was disappointed in Maggie, I couldn't believe what she had done. But I can't stand mad at her. All I can do is try and help her.
After t we went back to family B for a cuppa. It was good fun. :)

This morning I went to the footy. Hamish won :) I don't get the ball enough though. I needs to get more drive for the ball. I started to watched the u-16's match actually it was really good but I ended up leaving before the first quarter finished.

I've spent the rest of the day packing for work experience. I'm leaving soon. I hope I'll be able to use the internet while I'm there.

Annalisa

Dressing

Hey folks

Talk soon I'm off to get ready, going out with family friends.

Annalisa Kidd,

Justin's Visit

Well I home. Sick of homework. And JUSTIN invited me to his place well his mum's he's down for the weekend. :) I'm so happy to see him, I haven't seen him for ages. As I've said before we were really good mates a while back. It's really sad that we don't get to see each other as often as I would like. Scott doesn't really like him and yer never never really said why. I don't bother asking any more. When we first started going out it use to really bug me. But now I know that me and Scott will always have friends that sometimes the other wont like, we've learnt to except that.
Justin is a bit older than me not by that much really, but older enough that you can see a difference. Being around him now (he's playing pool with Hamish) I feel younger. I feel more like a kid with me. When we were younger he was like a big brother to me, he always looked after me. I want to look after him now after he's done so much for me. He's having girlfriend troubles, I want to help but he wont let me in. I just hope he knows that I'm there for him whenever he wants.
We're all going out for t. He's leaving tomorrow and I know that once he leaves this weekend that he wont be back for a while well to see me at least. So I want to spend a much time with him as I can.
He's a cool big brother because we never fight (except one time) and he makes me laugh so much. He's a good brother :)

Annalisa xx

Work and Play

Argh today all I'm doing today is photo stuff it's taking forever. But no need to worry I get to let my hair down tonight we family friends.

Anna

Treats for my Boy

I got the last of Scott's presents today. I really hope he likes them. I think he will. I've got him something different every day. Friday at school Scott said how cool it would be to have a random bag of lollies in his locker so that's what he is getting :) on Monday.

Anna the Aussie Santa

Birthday and Presents

Last night was uncle ryans birthday it was so much fun. But I wished Scott was there.

Guess what as you know I've got work experience next week so I'll be away from Scott. So what I'm doing I'm getting my friend to put a present in his locker everyday :) Except Tuesday cause he isn't at school that day. I wish I would be there to see him open the presents but I know he'll appreciate it. I only hope he doesn't find out who's putting the presents in there for me.

Annalisa

Scott and Treats

My lovely sweet boyfriend borught me bath oil when he had the day off on Tuesday. What a sweetie. I used it today so good. It smells like coconut. I love Scott

Annalisa the coconut

Tired and Stressed

Well school was ok I guess didn't really have the best day. Period 5 I just couldn't stop thinking I can't wait till today is over. I was with Scott all day today but we hanged out with his friends I didn't mind but today I just wanted it to be us. But of course today was the day he wanted to be with his friends because it was a nice day so he could kick the footy with him. I've been so so so tired lately. It been making me grumpy. For the last week I haven't been getting to sleep till 11 at the earliest and its killing me. I'm just so tired.
Morning and Night I've got no energy or brain. I feel sorry for my friend,Meg because I said I'd bring a hair straightener in for her and I haven't yet. I just forgot every day. I've been sad and not concentrating that well. I'll bring it tomorrow I have to. Scott and me were good today. He played the footy game and recess with his mates and it was so so funny. :) I miss him now. By the way we're not spending thisweekend together he's got to work again, which sucks because I wont get to see him all weekend and next week because of work experience at a gym I can't wait but I'll miss him so much. We haven't seen each other on the weekend for three weeks counting this weekend. Lets hope he changes his mind and doesn't have to work. I'm so tired.

Talk soon I hope

Anna

Blogging

I'm sorry that I haven't blogged in a couple of days. My laptop was at a friend's place. I was dieing without having it. Even without those two days I worked out that my blog does really help me when I'm feeling and even happy. Becuase I can express myself and get all the bad stuff off my back. And keep the good stuff in my mind and re-live the moment.

I'm sorry if I worried you guys as you know I haven't been feeling the best.

Anna

Happy Day

School was freaking great! Well classes were shit. But me and Scott were happy as happy. I didn't say anything about the Deb or this weekend. We just had a good time together. It was perfect. We palyed this coin game. Scott cheated, I tried to but he always caught me out. :(

Scott even asked me to his place Friday I can't wait. Just me and him (well and his family) together. 

Today was a really great happy. I'm happy

Weekend

Saturday and Sunday went along pretty much the same, at quite slow speed. Saturday I went to the gym with mummy dear and had my aunties birthday that night. Had the best desert Lemon Meringue Pie so yummy its my favourite. I want that to be my birthday cake this year. Hope Scott will read this post :)

Dear Scott please get me Lemon Meringue Pie for my birthday :)

Sunday I slept in till 11am !

Went to nan and Puppa's place for Kayla's brithday so much fun!

Annalisa.

By the way had the worst sleep last night I only got to sleep at like 1 something am !

Friday: Twilight and Books

Friday.

On Friday after school I got a friend over. We're not really that close but we still talk in class. She (Nina) hadn't been over to my pplace since grade four. How crazy I know. She came over because I asked her and that her DVD player wasn't working and she hadn't watched twilight yet. I doesn't hurt to be nice ey? She had gone through some hard times with her dad lately so I thought I'd give her a bit of a break. Nina's a lovely girl.

When we were watching the movie and talking I sorta realised why we weren't close any-more. We're great friends but we'll never be that close we're to very differen't people. I can trust her very much, but I can't have as much fun like I do with like my other friends.

It was a good afternoon/almost night. She went home pretty early. When Nina left I went to bed and read for over 2 hours. Reading our English book which we're reading in class, but I love it do much I took it home to read ahead and finish it. It's a pretty short book but a good one at that. It's called The Story of Tom Brennan by J.C Burke. I went to bed pretty late.

Annalisa the Reader

Words Coming Out

I've got so much to say. I'm sorry. I feel bad for not blogging all weekend. I'm more sorry because I can't make it up to you guys yet. I'm going to my Nan and Puppa's place for t and the afternoon to celebrate Kayla's birthday. Which was Friday. Alot has happened this weekend. Well sort of. Scott worked all weekend again. Two weeks in a row. :( But it's good because he's making money, which is what he wants to for the time being. It's hard for me sometimes but I know it's going to pay for next year for us and this Christmas. I love my Scott dearly and I know he's away from me for the right reasons.

Well I'll blog as much as I can now until I get yelled at that we're leaving!

I love Scott D'Arcy

Annalisa x x

Scared of Myself

I'm not going to lie I have been avoiding my blog all weekend. I was scared to know what I was going to write in my next post. But I'm here now and I know that this blog is a part of who I am. I guess in my last post I was trying to figure out myself and it sort of scared me a bit. I don't know. Thank you Barry and Sandy for helping me. Well I'm not all better but I know I'm going to figure myself out.

Thank you my motivation.

Anna

Insecure?

I think I can get very insecure sometimes. I don't get all down now myself that badly but I do get scared about what other people are thinking about me and what Scott is thinking.

I don't know it's just sometimes I act really weird and the only word I can really describe it as is insecure. Like I didn't see Scott last weekend which was ok but now we're not seeing each other this weekend either, I get sorta scared. I hate it. I keep asking if I can come over anyway and silly stuff. And it annoys Scott. I don't mean to but I just do it. I've only started doing this in the last couple of months.

I've also been wanting kisses and cuddles and that more. It's like I need to feel Scott close to me again to feel safe and secure again. It's only been lately and I don't want to be like this anymore. I want to go back to normal. I know if I keep stressing about it I'm going to end up in a bad state of mind.

I've been getting angry at my self easily.

If Scott says a joke to me I've been taking it the wrong way which I wouldn't normally do. Sometimes I start crying. Then I few minutes later I'll be back to normal and then feel bad for making him think he upset me and that I let myself get that way.

It's also been happening in class sometimes with my mates.


I'm feel vulnerable.

Anna the Worried Again :(

Pretty Nails Wins Hearts

I just put the second coat of hardening nail polish on. I swear I can see a difference.

Scott did!

I couldn't believe it. He noticed my nails today. I was so happy. I never know how much Scott takes notice of things. It's so amazing :) I couldn't stop smiling when he said my nails looked pretty today. I was like awwww!

Scott was doing what I was meant to be doing in a way. A few posts ago I said I would try and notice the smaller things in life that make me happy without realising they do. And now Scott did. But in a way I did notice a small thing that made me totally happy, a compliment from Scott.

He's makes me so happy without even realising it. I love him.

Anna the Pretty Nails :)

Boy and Sun

On the bus again. Boy was more calm today. He wasn't watching what was happening on the world of the bus. No one felt like making his head boil today. Lucky I thought. He was content with what he was doing. Yet I wasn't, he was intentionally causing himself pain.

The bus was going towards where the sunrise would rise. He was facing the other way. He was facing the back of the bus. Looking into to the strong rays of light from the sun. You could seeing it was causing him agony, his eyes were watering and keep on blinking, still though it all he keep looking into the light. You could almost say it was a game for him.

Whenever the sun went behind the clouds and behind the shadows of the trees he would more his head to try to see it again. I couldn't understand why he was doing it.

When the Sun was back he looked further into it. He squinted his eyes. Trying to look deeper into the bright light as if he was trying to find something.

Boy....

A sad time

Today was good I guess. Me and Scott didn't have to best day. We argued a bit. Not much but a bit to ruin the day. I was pretty upset. So yer.

But We both said our sorries. And he gave me a kiss at the end of lunch.

And we've been sending some cute texts to each other.

I hate it when we fight, I hate making him upset and angry.

But It's all better, well I think so.

Anna

Yesterday's News

Well yesterday as you all know I had a interview with a photographer from the local paper! Well I got news for you! He canceled!!!!!!! He said he was to busy.
I was already on the bus there. I wasn't happy. I carried my bag, laptop and camera through the streets in pouring rain and I mean pouring. But I keep walking to the Newspaper place I thought maybe he might by there and not actually that busy but when I got there he was out. So I left my portfolio there.

While I was in town I brought some nail polish to make my nails grow longer and stronger. :)

Hip Hop was great!

But there was a new girl. Please I'm not trying to be mean but she is a freak! She isn't a dancer. I'm sorry I must sound awful but seriously she isn't suited to dancing. Even all the others girls said it. We're all hoping she'll quit. Wow that does sound bad. But yer anyways....

Sorry I didn't post last night I was so tired.

Annalisa

Dancing Fun

Just got home from dancing. It was very tiring. But fun, it was good to have a talk with Alice again, Kellie is in Queensland. I found out we have a new student which I'll met tomorrow. I don't like myself for it but I'm never as welcoming to new dancers at our school.I think it's because I don't like sudden changes very much. Unless I already know that they are going to be good.

Dance workout was hard as usually. We have to do this hold for a minute and we haven't done it in a while and of course we had to do it today. And well it killed me I was shaking in the last 20 seconds, I didn't think I'd be able to last but I did.

Toni was in a usually good mood which was good, I even got a few smiles out of her. :)

Think I better go have a shower.

Annalisa the Dancer :)

Dancing

I've got ballet tonight and dance workout. But no hulu, our teacher can't make :(

And I missed Hulu last week too. Hopefully the girls can catch me up in ballet.

I'm loving our contemporary dance its so so so good the music is great and so are the steps. :)

School Day

School went by in a blur and so quickly.

We played hand ball in P.E in was ok. After a few falls though I might add. It was girls on girls and we all got a bit rough. But fun all the same. Alot of girls had a sook about the boys ruining the game and that but ar well who cares, it is just a game after all. It didn't worry me that much when two guys joined our game, it made it more exciting. Yet some girls had to whine about it. Of course not everybody can stay happy when it's not going their way. But don't get me wrong I get like that to.

Double maths. :0 A maths test. It was open book so I think I done pretty well. Well lets just all hope I did. I like my maths so I don't like it when I don't get a good mark. I'm hoping for the best. In the 90's would be good. :)

Then Humanities which was good as we got to was a movie. I enjoyed it, we haven't finished it yet it's about Al Copone. Me and my friend, Lilly have really liked learning about him. I don't want to movie to end.

English last. Our teacher read to us, the book is ok. As usual I block out what she is saying and read ahead.

Talk soon

Anna

Essay

Hello,

So as I said before I'm staying after school to do my essay. I hope it goes well. I don't know why but I'm really scared about doing the conclusion. It's the only part I haven't done even before I had it. A bit stressful.

I'm still reading the quote book, especially when I want to hear something happy. I'm also reading Twilight again it's taking a bit longer this time, as I think I'm a bit busier.

Anyways its school time now. Cya

Anna

Before School

Well I'm going to curl my hair then do the ringlet thing that Sammie said. Thanks for the advice.

Yummy honey on toast and a chocolate for breaky.

Somehow I still don't think my essay is the best. Maybe I'll post it up here one day.

Scott ins't at school today. :(

Anna

Photographic Magic

I can't stop looking at the photo I took it the forest on the "Passion of Mine" post.

It just looks magical doesn't it?

And still it reminds me of Twilight when Bella and Edward are talking and Edward showing his strengths in the forest. So beautiful.

I'm really proud of the photos I took in the forest. I'm learning so much now and I can really see the improvement.

Can't wait for the work experience at the local paper its going to be such a learning curve of for me. :) So pumped! The photographer there is meant to be a really good teacher from what I've heard. Since it's only a smaller paper hopefully he will have more time to teach me things. Scott's cousin said she can get me into a larger paper so I think I'll go there later on in the year. :)

I love Scott's family. His mummy is amazing, she is the nicest person I've ever met. She's always been so welcoming to be and excepted who I am. I proud to have a mother-in-law like her. Jenny is wonderful!

Annalisa the excited!

Hair of Facts ?

Hello I'm out of the bath and very tired. I'd just like to say that I can never sleep if my hair is very wet. It has to bed almost all dry before I can fall asleep. Random fact from the book of Annalisa. :)

Does anyone have any good ideas on how to do my hair tomorrow. Its shoulder length well a bit longer and a fringe that almost needs a cut. 
So what style? (I'll check my blog when I get up)

Argh I feel like cordial and we have none :(

Think I might be starting to get a cold. :( Lets hope its just passing. :)

Scott has gone to sleep, its strange I miss him so much more when he's aleep but I'm happy because I know his safe. I get scared when he's out riding or at work. I love you Scotty Boy.

Annalisa

Quote of the Day

"And feel that I am happier than I know."
John Milton, English Poet 1608-74

Am I happier than I know?

I think so. There and so many little things that nobady pays enough attention to. Not me, not you. I aim to pay more attention to the little things in life. Things that make me smile without even knowing. If I remember them which I aim to do I'll write them in a post. I know I wont write one every day but I'll try. :) 

When I'm happy I don't notice the passing of time. I'm living the time that I have, I'm not worrying. Even if I'm totally upset and I pretend to be happy its turns out I am. Because somehow in that short time someone will say something nice to me and make my day. I know I'm just blahhing on but I think this is serious with all the suicdes and people with depression these days we need so show more happiness and spread it on. 

This is going to sound lame but its the only way I can explain it......

You put too much jam on one slice of bread, then what do you do? You get another slice of bread and put the excess jam on it.
A.K.A Jam = Happiness. When you have a lot of happiness in your life pass it on and also be thankful for what you have. Lots of Jam :)

Anna the Jam :)   

Debutante Stuff

I'm in love with Scott. :) He doesn't want to do the Debutante with me and I don't know why. He just said it's not his thing and he just doesn't want to. But argh I would love to do it with him so much. He said he still wants me to do it and with anyone else. If I do do the Deb with someone else I'd want him to come to my Deb. But I'm not sure if he would. I've asked him to and he said I guess. Hmm I hope that is a defiant yes.

I've got an idea on who I want to do it with but yer he would like to too but he's not sure because he doesn't want to upset Scott. I said that Scott is fine with it, which is what he has told me so yer I don't know. There are heaps of good guys in my year, I just got to get one of them to say yes.

I might be able to do it this year or if I can't, I'll do it next year. It doesn't really worry me.

I've already started trying to dresses they are so pretty. I only really want to this Deb to dress up and look really beautiful. The ones that I've tried on so far aren't even that expensive. :)

Annalisa

Christmas and ......

I was talking to Scott at recess about what he wants for Christmas I know early ey?

All he said was that this Christmas will be big for us.

I was happy but I didn't know why it would be. He said he would be making more money. (So will I:). He'll finish the schooling year sooner than me, which I'm not looking forward to. So he'll be working while I'm at school. He's got two jobs now. And next year who knows what he'll be doing as a job or where he'll even be. I'm worried that we wont get to see each other that much. I'm such a; quote "worry-head" as one of my friends called me and sadly its true.

I know Christmas will be great with Scott and I'm going to try and spend as much time with him onthe holidays. :)

Anna loves her Scott

Art Crisis Gone!

I had double art first up. My teacher helped me, I was so happy I think I've found what I've been looking for in my essay. Its looking good. I've done all the paragraphs but I still have to conclusion which I will do after school with my art teacher again. I'm happy with what I have done so far.

She said that I wont loss marks for not having my research notes because she has seen what I have done. :) I was so scared she wouldn't.


Anna

Passion of Mine

Looking over the pictures I took Sunday. I realised how beautiful the Australian Forest is and how lucky I am to be so close to it. It is almost winter and there is moss and wet ground and the forest. It's amazing. It was cold but it didn't worry me because I was doing what I love. I know now that photography is my true passion. Whether I pursue it as a career or not I know it will always be apart of my life and me. I use to question my photography I didn't know if it was me or not. But it is. The images I take are me. Nobody can put there camera the way I do, only I can. It's only me. Argh I know I love photography.

I was lucky to be able to go out with a great photographer to go into the forest and learn. Hopefully I'll be able to more often, in newer places. A local photographer who works for the local paper called me and said that I'll be able to do some work experience with him early July.

Also I'll have work experience in a couple of weeks and a gym! I know this isn't you know my usual type of work but I want to try something different.

Anna in Love

Book of Quotations

With the Book of Quotations I've started to highlight all the ones that I like. There's quite a few. I think I might add a few in sometimes. I would some some of my words end up in a quote book one day.

"Le coeur a ses raisons qye le raison ne connait point."
(The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing)

Blaise Pascel

Night Scare

T was good. Kayla and her family was there and Nanna and Puppa.

We went back to my uncle's place and had desert it was so good and chocolatly.

All us kids played this game where we through a ball to try and knock this tin thing over. It was pretty lame but still fun all the same.
Then...
The power went out. I screamed. We still played the throughing game even tho it was pitch black. Dad came is and tried to scare us, I got scared. It was fun though me and Kayla took photos of us together in the dark. We got some silly ones.

Blah.... Blah.... Blah it was a good night.
Fun all around

I'm tired

Annalisa

Fungi Fun!

I went out with a photographer today in the forest to learn some new skills.

It was a great experience.

I took some wicked pictures of some fungi, yes I know it sounds gross but the pictures turned out great!

I'll say more about it later. I've got to get ready for a Mothers Day dinner.

Annalisa

Work Out Time!

I went to the gym with my Aunty and Cousin this morning for a hour and it killed me. I can't believe how fit my aunty is. It's crazy. I think I'm going to get a gym membership and go there more often I need to get fit again.

At the start
my aunty asked if I wanted a towel,
I said what for and
she said incase you sweat
I said no thanks.
In the end i needed that towel :)

I done 10mins of running to get my heart beat up then did some muscle stuff. I attempted to do 15rep 3 times lets say I didn't on every thing.

I loved the machines they had there was so many to chose from. :)

I'm definitely going again but I'll bring mum at least then I know I'll be able to bet someone :) Argh I'm so evil :)

Anna the not so fit.

By the way sorry I haven't been posting that much lately :(

My Little Treats

Omg!!!!! I made so so so so so much money saturday well alot for me in one day.

With the wedding the bride wanted to chose some photos then print them out small and put the in a folder and put a number next to them. Then people that went to the wedding could order photos they wanted. With the photos she wanted for the folder I've already made over $500 dollars! And that's not even with her order or the people who went to the wedding.

I'm so proud of my self with making I'm own money now.

I've printed off the photos and while I was in town I brought some little presents for myself. I thought I deserved it. :) I got myself A book of Quotations (proud Barry?), a little digital photo frame key ring and lunch at macca's for me, dad and Hamish. I think I've got to give back to myself instead of putting it all into savings. I'm always giving to others especially Scott so I think I should give back to me abit.

Annalisa xx

Fresh Mind

I've been working on my essay slowly. I did alot Friday night. All I've got to do is fix it up and do the conclusion. But still none of it feels write. I can't hear the flow of words write. I don't know what to do. I haven't worked on it today so I might have a read of it with a fresh mind. Now.

Anna

Still in Crisis Mode

I'm not spending this weekend with Scott. :(
He is working all weekend.
But I think I'll be ringing him a bit :)

Argh so tired. I keep stressing about the essay. I've starting to re-write. But sadly I'm going to loss marks for not having my research and draft essay. I'm so so upset. I truly am like crazy. I need that book so much.

Anna the Upset.

Art Crisis

Argh I can't believe how stressed out I am. I've lost my Studio Art folio and I can't find I any where I'm going crazy. It's got my essay in it, that is due in Wednesday. This is essay goes towards my major marks and everything. I was finished and now I have to start again I can't believe this. It can only happen to me. Argh I even broke down and cried, yes I know it doesn't help by crying but somehow it does help me.
I need to find, I really do if I don't find I I'm going to have to do my essay again which I have been working on for over a month. It was perfect. I was even in fornt of everyone but now I'm totally behind.

My Happy Beautiful Life

I'm so lucky.

I have a amazing man in my life. Scott D'Arcy. Who I'm deeply in love with. He treats me so well and respects me. As well as lovers we are also best friends. I know our future together is bright and full of rainbows. :) I love the time I have with him, it's full of laughs. We have our struggles like any couple and we always pull through. Our snuggles are the best thing in the world. What else can I say I'm in love.

My family is wonderful and beautiful. My mother as crazy as is but I love her to bits. We teach each other things and always have a great laugh together. My dad oh my dad he's a true Aussie, the cool fun-loving man. He's my inspiration and true hero. And my little brother Hamish I would go mad in my family without him. He gives me advice sometimes when I don't want it and always supports me.

My family as a whole is great (cousins, aunties, uncles, grandparents). They are full of happiness and would do anything for me. I can't believe how great they are and full of support. They also love Scott to pieces.

My friends are stunning. They keep me going through and through. They make me laugh and make me safe. They are my guardian angels. If I'm having a bad day or I'm fighting with Scott they are there for me and will stay over night whenever I need it. I can't thank them enough for being such great friends to me. They are have such beautiful hearts.

My photography is my passion. This is where I can show my dreams and inspirations through pictures. It's where I can snap away with not a care in the world. When I show me pictures to someone and they smile, that warms my heart up knowing I helped someone make their day.

My blog this place is my second mind. This is me, in sprirt form. I show my life, thoughts, feelings, ache and love right here. I'm thankful for the people who I'm able to share my life with and meet new people.

My animals thank you for always being happy and full of life for me.

I'm thankful for everything in my life.

Annalisa the luckiest girl in the world.

My Day and Dull

Hello,

My day was sort of dull. :( Don't get me wrong I had a great day with Scott my classes were good but yet there was no excitement, usualy there is something that gets me thinking, yet not today. Everyone has those days yet this morning I thought today would be exciting.

I'm not a believer in horoscope yet I read mine every day but only because in the morning the music channel I watch has them at the bottom. Today mine said the my lover would not be romantic. It was wrong-ish, Scott wasn't overly romantic but he was still my sort of lovely for at school. At school Scott isn't that touchy (we're not aloud to be) but today I think he was a bit more. I got a cute kiss on my cheek and a few hand holds. :)
But maybe I'm just reading into things because of the horoscope. 

Science was good we had a leacturer come in so no work there. :)

I loved maths, I had some fun convo's with my friends. About penis's of course. It was a good laugh. I tried to well stay cool but I kept digging myself a hole. And I got caught out. Sorry if you don't get this it's more had to be there moment. There was even paper and stciky tape involved.

The walk home was dull, I think it's the weather, most of the blue skies have gone, it's all cloud. :(

Coco seems happy though playing with his toys. Oh so cute.

Anna

Street Fashion Photography

I've been looking at Fashion Street Galleries on the internet. I've found some more great sites and great ideas. I can't wait to go out and take these photos. It's going to be sooo exciting. :)

I think I will have a portfolio just for these shots. As well as taking normal fashion shots on the street I would also like to take some pictures candid. I found a site that had on beautiful ones.

Ever since; well since few years ago I've had this thing for pregnancy in art. Last years I had a drawing and canvas painting of a pregnant and now I would love to take some pictures of real pregnant women. Women always look so beautiful when they are pregnant. I love it.

Annalisa the secret photographer....xx

Camera Club

Last night I had camera club which was good but it ended up a very late night. I learnt alot about the horizon line and blobs of white. With one of my pictures I entered it had a blob of white which I didn't even notice, I'll be sure to keep a look out for that in the future.

I'm happy to say that my sunset picture on the top of my blog has a almost perfect horizon :)
Very proud of myself.

In entered a picture of a man fishing in the sunset which I got second place, happy. :)

Also I'm now on the board, a representative for the junior members.

With the wedding on the weekend I know I will have to correct the horizon line; I'm not trying to make excuses for myself as I know it is my fault for those mistakes but I think that the horizonen wasn't always right because I was trying to take the picture quickly before the moment was gone.

Some might say I'm not learning enough in my club but I think learning the small things are most important because added up they make the picture.

So far I'm enjoying camera club and getting judged on my work. Also I'm meeting some great people. This weekend I'm hopefully going out with a Canadian photographer to learn some more skills before I go to Fiji. I won't be taking my laptop to Fiji I don't think so I will hopefully find a internet cafe somewhere.

Anna

Camera Club's Late Night

I got home late last night from camera club. I can't wait to tell you what I learnt but that can wait till after school.

Scott is at school today :)

Anna

Outside Personality

WOW Wow wow

I've got a new idea!!!!!!!

Well the idea has been done before in magazines but I just figured out that I want to do it now. Just for a day or something.

The idea is going to the city to make a street gallery. I'll walk the streets of Melbourne (Barry jealous? :) with hopefully a friend who can be the journalist and we can go around and get pictures of people in great outfits. Everyone has their own sense of style and I want to capture it. This idea probably wont happened for a while but it will be great when it does.

I've always had a passion for fashion. (That rhymes:) Your style is showing your personality on the outside. I would love to be able to show your personality to the world.
Pictures that have been taken on the street always look amazing especially with style mixed into it.

Annalisa who shows your style to the world. XX

Have a look at www.stitsh.com it has some great street galleries.

International Cleavage Day/Week

This is going to sound weird coming from a girl but I think there should be International Cleavage Day or Week.

What do you think?

Weather you have boobs or not a women love to show off their body and get compliments.That is only if they are recieving the nice ones. If there was a International Cleavage Day/Week you could show off your boobs and people would support you in a nice way. Maybe it could be a fundraiser for breast cancer.

Being able to show off boobs without being called a "Slut" or "Top Heavy" instead "Well done for supporting a good cause." Maybe I'm asking for too much.

xx

Please no one take ofence to this, this is only my opinion.

How People See Me?

I'm writing this post as I am watching myself. I had a comment asking to write a post about how I think people see me. They thought it would help them understand me more.

I'll give you how some people see me in points:

-Well some people see skin first I don't like that, once I went to meet one of my friends other two friends and when we meet I knew they didn't like me so I walked off. I heard them say "Wow I never knew she was black." They said it in a way that they didn't want to have anything to do with me.
-There is a girl in my class who doesn't like me at all and it's just because she said I think I can always get what I want. And she thinks at school, that whenever I want something she thinks I can't always get it but I do. I don't really get that bit but that is what she said.
-After everything that has been going on with my photography, like how well I've been going with it so quickly and all my teachers say how motivated I am. :)
-Some people would say I'm pushy because I like to get my work done quickly. I'm happy when the work is finished but I think this probably means I do rush a bit of my work. But I do think I've above average.
-I don't like this would but I'm going to say it and be truthful. It's jealously. I think sometimes people are a bit jealous for what I have I have a great family, boyfriend and a upper hand lifestyle.
-I hope to think that my teachers think of me as smart :)
-Scott thinks of me as beautiful

I'll add more when I think of some.

xx

Cute Horse

I took this picture of my friends horse. Mentioned in a past post.

xx

Sunday

Sunday.

We slept in Saturday was a long day. When we finally got up we wentto the footy to watch Hamish. My family left but me and Scott stayed longer and walked home. Me and Scott had a bet on the walk home and I won. I got a massage :) when we got home, but of course it could have been longer.
We layed on my bed for ages just playing around. It was great just being alone with him. Today went so quick. It was t before we knew it, we were too tired so dad ended up cooking t.
We watched the Logies on TV then went to bed.

xx I had a great weekend with Scott

Saturday

Saturday.

I woke up and went in to give Scott a cuddle. Scott made the Milo's and I made honey on toast. It was good. After laying on the couch we played table tennis I think I'm getting better.

I got dressed for the Wedding wearing a black dress hoping the bride wouldn't mind, luckly she didn't. I loved what I wore, and I think Scott did too. He said I looked pretty. :) My hair was curled then pinned back, so lovely.

The men were coming to the wedding on a fire truck so first stop was the fire station, I got a few shots but the men weren't very fun to shot. The groom was pretty nervous from what I saw.
Then off to where the bride was getting ready. I got some great shots there. And they were all happy to get their picture taken which made my job easier. :)
I love taking pictures of a bride looking so happy and beautiful, makes me smile.
I loved taking the pictures at the actually wedding but it was quite annoying when people were taken pictures with a flash because interupted my photo taking. When I tried to tell them to stop but they just got angry.

We took the bridial party photos in the bush, a 20 minute drive.
All the men said the would be leeches so I was scared. But I didn't get any on me.
I loved being able to chose the shots and say what to do. It was so much fun. But I have to say some of the jokes the men were saying I didn't really like. But at the reception they all said they were sorry for what they said so I was happy about that.

At the recpetion I took the fake cutting of the cake and went home they said they didn't need me anymore. Which I was happy with I just wanted to get home to my Scott.

At home Scott had pizza waiting for me. He cuddled me on the couch while I ate. Then while I tried to have a little sleep, Scott put new plastics and grapics kit on my motorbike. :) He's so sweet. Now we both have black bikes.
I couldn't sleep so I got up to work on the photos I knew it would take me a while to edit. But then I got a call then said they wanted me back. I didn't want to say no, it is their special day after all so I went back. Mum and Dad were at the wedding so came home and picked me up to take me back.

I was so angry because all they wanted me for one shot. And I went back home not so happy.

After another 15minutes of waiting he had finished playing with my bike. So we watched Twilight, I felt really bad for him because I'd giggle when ever Edward talked I felt so bad. But Scott knew my addiction to Twilight so he let it go.

We fell asleep on the couch together so good. When we woke up we went to Scott's bed. It warm so warm. We cuddled and kissed for a while but then we heard the door open so I rushed to my room. Mum and Dad were home.

I had a very long sleep.

xx